Been a while....

Just realized its been awhile since I have posted anything. Its just been way crazy lately. We had to put a stop to therapy for awhile, and I am praying they start soon. I am just so frustrated. I see autism, my family sees it, therapists see it, even the people evaluating them see it, yet we have no diagnosis. Why? He just doesn't meet "the criteria." What more do they want?!? I'm just lost, and more so for my youngest who is worse. But just because the make eye contact they don't have it. I hurt seeing my kids hurt. I want to help them so badly yet I can't. If I could just get that diagnosis of Autism, oh the opportunities of a "normal" life for them. My youngest DESPERATELY NEEDS a compression shirt or vest. I ask where I can go for the cheapest out there (one that will work and give him the input his body so desperately craves) and its $40! And thats not including taxes and shipping costs because the place is in Illinois. And thats not the only thing my boys NEED. Oh the list I have for the things they NEED. I hate complaining because we are truly blessed. Infact my church is supplying all my kiddos school supplies! How awesome is that. And I didn't even ask, my mom requested it for us. And we also have great support for some of our basic necessities for life and found a great place to live and have been here for, and get this so excited to say this, 3 years! I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but when you live in poverty you're lucky to stay in a place for a year. So really in reality we are good, but I do need prayer for my boys. They need so much help, and it hurts me that I can't give it to them. Another prayer request (if anyone even reads my blog) my health is not good. I live in constant pain. I have many "disorders" and "syndromes" that have caused weight gain and that makes matters worse. I also started having multiple kidney stones/pains for almost 4 years now. Finally caught one and am being sent to a kidney specialist. I am a mess, I need prayers for my health. I can't do it anymore. I'm afraid of what it will do to me in the long run. My kids need me, I am there only advocate. I have to be there for them. Firstly as a mom, and secondly to stand up for their rights. Because sadly this nation is *excuse my french* ass backwards when it comes to the medical field. I'm sure I am writing this just for me, but please if you do read this, please pray for my family. God Bless.